THIS PIECE IS SOLELY THE OPINION OF HORRORSPOOKY AND DOES NOT REPRESENT CHEATMASTERS OR ANYONE ELSE AFFILIATED WITH CHEATMASTERS.
It’s been ages since the last time I wrote my beloved column read by no one in particular. At any rate, I’ve decided to rebuild The Spook House because a certain fellow named Adam Orth, creative director of Microsoft, is now in my Spook Dog…House. Check out the inane dribble he’s posted on Twitter:
Indeed. What a rude fellow, hence my rude headline and my general rude attirude toward him. This is basically the situation, for the uninformed:
Numerous sources have reported that the eighth generation Xbox device from Microsoft will require an Internet connection to work. In lieu of the disastrous SimCity launch and the fact that people simply do not want to be connected to the Internet 100% of the time to play their games, this obviously has people worried and Xbox fans are worked up. Keep in mind that nothing is confirmed, but the rumors persist, and everyone is worried.
It doesn’t help that Adam “Iron Toaster” Orth is acting this way, all up on his high horse and what-not. Let’s dissect his little Twitter comments to show just how unbelievably stupid they are in actuality:
Sometimes the electricity goes out. I will not purchase a vacuum cleaner.*
Okay, anyone with half a brain can figure out why this comment is just outright dumb. We’ve gone through seven generations of video game consoles, and not a single one of them has required an Internet connection before to play video games. Hell, none of the currently released eighth generation devices require an Internet connection either. Wii U? Nope. 3DS? Nope. Vita? Nope. PS4, which was announced by Sony a couple months back now, also does not require an Internet connection.
*Okay, let’s just dissect that one and move on
If eighth gen is anything like this gen (spoilers: it will be), then the PS4 and Next Xbox will be pretty equal in terms of power and third party games. I fully expect another iteration of the “HD twins” situation. So, if the PS4 doesn’t require an Internet connection to play, say, Call of Duty, why in the blue hell should the Next Xbox?
People are going to go to the store after the PS4 and Next Xbox releases. They will see both systems on the shelf, and they will see the similar power, similar everything, and they will have to make a choice. What will influence their choice? Well, one system is going to let them be disconnected from the Internet, and the other is going to require an Internet connection to play games that shouldn’t require an Internet connection.
CUSTOMER: Hmm. One system has weird rules that are unnecessary and stupid. I think I’m going with PS4.
Microsoft might as well hang up its boots now if it honestly is going to go through with an always-on console. Furthermore, if the rumors about the system blocking used games is true as well, then I think we might as well prepare for a Sony/Nintendo only eighth generation right now.
Sorry Mr. Orth, you may be the fancypants creative director of Microsoft, but if you can’t see why an always-on gaming console is idiotic, then you’re a few rings short of RROD. Not sure if that makes sense, but you catch my drift, eh?