Top 10 Worst Games of 2013 [Editorial]

Editorial
Dec
31
2013

Top 10 lists are usually reserved for celebrating the best of the best in the industry. Rarely are Top 10 lists negative in nature. However, I think that it’s just as important at the end of the year to look at all the awful games that came out as well as the good ones that were released. The gaming industry is constantly evolving, and the games found here show that not all of these evolutions are great.

This list is varied. It contains shooters, adventure games, stealth action games, and a game that I have no idea how to classify other than calling it “the worst thing ever”. These games need to be outright avoided, and they aren’t even “so bad, it’s good”; these games are so bad, they’re bad!

Stay tuned to Cheat Masters for some Top 10 lists with more positive outlooks later this week, such as the Top 10 Underrated Games of 2013 and of course the Top 10 Games of 2013! We’ll end this series next week with the Top 10 Most Anticipated Games of 2014 as we look ahead to what gaming will have in store for us in the new year!

For more of my Top 10 end of the year retrospectives, check out this editorial about the games that were seemingly destined for greatness, but didn’t quite hit the mark all the time:

Top 10 Most Disappointing Games of 2013

Dishonorable Mentions
Fortunately, I didn’t have time to play all of the bad games that came out this year. I missed one or two, but there were two games that came out just recently that caught my attention due to their poor critical reception. I can’t make my own judgment on these two licensed titles I am about to mention, but the people that played them haven’t seemed to be all too impressed with what they saw.

Young Justice: Legacy – This game probably leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of Young Justice fans. Not only is the game supposedly really bad, but it is just another reminder that the Young Justice cartoon is cancelled and Teen Titans Go! is on instead. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon because I DON’T KNOW! – A game supposedly just as obnoxious as its title, most of the people I’ve spoken to about it feel that it should’ve just been a cheap downloadable game instead of being passed off as a full retail release.

10. Beyond: Two Souls (PS3)
I had high hopes for Beyond. I have very much enjoyed the past efforts of Quantic Dreams, including Heavy Rain and Indigo Prophecy, and with the added star power behind Beyond, I had every reason to be excited. At the end of the day, Beyond was one of the most agonizing experiences I’ve ever had in gaming.

I’m all for games trying new things and the minimal game design story-focused approach can work with some titles. When it comes to Beyond, it simply doesn’t. Heavy Rain had choices that made a huge impact on the characters in the story, whereas Beyond just has a couple of outcomes. The game hardly requires you to actively participate to complete it.

There were a couple of brilliant moments here and there, but definitely not enough to outweigh the rest of the boring mess that you have to slog through to get to them. To make matters worse, the nonlinear cut-scenes (obviously put in there just to make the game seem artsy fartsy) make the already stupid story even worse.

09. Lost Planet 3 (360/PC/PS3)
The first Lost Planet game is an underrated cult classic. It strove to do something different while also providing fantastic seventh generation visuals, an interesting setting, and a unique sci-fi plot. This combined with awesome mechs and over-the-top boss battles added up to one hell of an experience.

Lost Planet 2 completely dropped the ball, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when Lost Planet 3 just dug the hole deeper for the franchise. The game is slow as molasses, forcing players to move around a cumbersome and overly large mech that takes forever to move from place to place. The enemies are now much dumber than they were before, the visuals have been downgraded, and the story is atrocious. Lost Planet 3 just goes to show that Capcom rarely knows what they’re doing nowadays.

08. Gears of War: Judgment (360)

The Gears of War trilogy is full of spectacle and refined gameplay that makes each entry hard to put down. This unnecessary prequel/spinoff manages to make one of the best third-person shooter formulas a complete bore. I honestly struggled to stay awake when playing this game, with its bland level design, pointless story, and its insistence on bad characters to fill the Gears of War universe with. This is what happens when CliffyB is not around to supervise things.

07. Anarchy Reigns (360/PS3)
I have a soft spot for Platinum Games. The people that work there were responsible for some of my absolute favorite games of all time, such as Okami and Resident Evil 4. Unfortunately, Platinum has started to let me down lately, with Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and especially with Anarchy Reigns.

In some ways, Anarchy Reigns is the spiritual successor to MadWorld. The two games play similarly and share some characters between them. However, whereas MadWorld was original and fun, Anarchy Reigns is derivative and terrible. The game seems like it was thrown together at last minute and rush out to the market. The only saving grace for it is that it’s a budget title, but even paying the budget price is paying a little bit too much for this stinker.

06. The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct (360/PC/PS3/Wii U)
The Walking Dead has become one of the largest entertainment franchises thanks to the hit television show, the extremely successful and ongoing comic book series, and the Telltale video game series. With so much Walking Dead content being produced all the time, it comes as no surprise that not all of it hits the mark. Survival Instinct completely misses the mark, actually.

The game is meant to be a prequel to the TV show starring Daryl Dixon, a very popular character created by the TV show. The plot is laughably bad, the graphics are horrible, and the animation is even worse. Despite this being one of the absolute worst and cheapest games I played all year, I do have to give it credit for getting zombies right…way better than Resident Evil 6 did at least.

05. Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon (360/PC/PS3)
I was a huge fan of the original Far Cry 3. I sunk dozens of hours exploring the islands of that game, and I am just a couple of co-op missions away from getting 100% in it. Thanks to the massive success of Far Cry 3, especially when compared to previous titles in the series, Ubisoft jumped on the opportunity to make some money off of the game’s name, and thus Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon was born.

Blood Dragon thrives on making bad jokes that were old 20 years ago (“But that’s the point!” Doesn’t make it good, does it?) and utilizing eye-bleeding visuals that are so nauseating that Blood Dragon has the distinction of being the first game that I had to quit playing because it gave me such an immense headache just looking at the screen. It’s a disgrace to the Far Cry 3 name and gaming in general.

It may just be me, but this art style makes me want to gouge my eyes out with spoons


04. Aliens: Colonial Marines (360/PC/PS3)
The videos leading up to the release of Aliens: Colonial Marines showcased graphics that were simply not a part of the final product. This controversy alone makes Aliens: Colonial Marines despicable, but it gets even worse.

The game is a buggy mess with pointless multiplayer, terrible AI for everyone all around, and a story that is supposed to be canon with the rest of the franchise yet just makes the rest of the franchise look goofy as hell by comparison. It tries its best to imitate the films, but it just ends up being a mindless (not to mention pointless) shooter that was in development hell for such a long time for a good reason:  it’s terrible.

When actually being played, the game looks just like this...except 1000x worse

03. The Smurfs 2 (360/PS3/Wii/Wii U)
I know that I shouldn’t expect much out of licensed games (after all, three games on the list are licensed games), but I do expect them to at least be competent. The Smurfs 2 is beyond dumb, with some of the worst level design in the history of platformers. I can’t imagine anyone liking this, even the little kids that like the movies. The Smurfs 2 is an abomination that should be promptly killed with fire.

There is no greater Hell


02. DARK (360/PC)

And people thought Twilight gave vampires a bad name. After playing Dark (I’m not going to capitalize it anymore because that’s a stupid way to name your game to begin with), I was begging for Edward and Bella. I’d rather suffer through that hell than this game, which relies on archaic, barely functional stealth mechanics, painful gameplay, and laziness in every other category. It is ugly, with a bad story and bad everything else as well. I feel bad for vampires for having to constantly have their name run through the mud, and if I were them, I’d sue the developers of Dark for completely ruining them forever.

Looking at this screenshot brought back so many bad memories. I don't think I will be getting much sleep tonight.


01. Ride to Hell: Retribution (360/PC/PS3)
Was there any question which game would be at the top of my list? Ride to Hell: Retribution is not only the worst game of 2013, but it is the worst game that I have ever played in my life, and I’ve played a s*** ton of video games. Ride to Hell is the worst crime that humanity has ever committed. It is just…really, really, really bad.

There are so many things I can point out about it that illustrate what a terrible, awful, no good game it is. From the awkward fully clothed sex scenes that happen on a semi-constant basis, to the broken shooting mechanics, the barely operational story, the characters that make no sense, the offensively bad voice acting, the god-awful dialogue…literally everything about this game is bad. Literally. There are no redeeming qualities, except to use it as a tool of punishment for your kids.

Santa didn’t leave coal in any stockings this year. Just Ride to Hell: Retribution, and I’m sure all the naughty kids got a serious wake-up call. They won’t be acting up again in 2014, that’s for damn sure.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!

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What games did you despise in 2013? Do what the Internet was made for and spread the hate in the comments below!

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About Horror Spooky

I'm Horror Spooky and I hail from the United States. I'm a college student that is dedicated to bringing only the best content to the CheatMasters audience!

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