An American Carol

David Zucker returns (you know, the guy who did Airplane! & the The Naked Gun: Series) with a comedy about Michael Moore. Kevin P. Farley (Yeah, Chris Farley’s brother) plays Michael Malone who is a documentary film maker who makes hate films about American (just like Michael Moore.) Some terrorists (Robert Davi, Geoffrey Arend & Serdar Kalsin) trick Malone into making a new recruitment film for the Taliban. Then they plot an attack at MSG on July 4^th. Meanwhile, Malone is trying to abolish the 4^th. Why? He’s a lost soul who needs his butt whopped (just like Moore). So, enter the spirits of America to teach him a lesson (Yeah, its based off of a Christmas Carol incase you haven’t caught that yet). The first is the ghost of Malone’s hero, John F. Kennedy played by Chriss Anglin. He tells him that he’ll be visited by three spirits and that he’s a douche. It’s very funny. The first spirit is General George S. Patton played by Kelsey Grammer (one of my favorite actors). Patton literally slaps Malone around and shows him how he’s hurting America all the while making fun of the actual insanity that goes on in our country today. (more…)

Igor

Yes Master! That’s me! The Grand Master is back with another review. Hopefully I’ll have more movies up here a little more often than they have been. The summer movies are done and the fall ones are starting to come out.

Igor is an all CGI film about an Igor. I know, you’re shocked. The story goes that in the country of Malaria (seriously who named that country?!) Evil Scientists think up their crazy inventions and enter them into an annual science fair. The winning creation is then used to threaten the rest of the world into a random or else the evil creation will be unleashed. A silly plot indeed.

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Burn After Reading

Worst movie, EVER!

I’m pretty sure I’ve walked out during a movie before but it was so long ago that I can’t even remember what it was. I even stayed for the duration of Kung fu Hustle and that was a bad movie.

Burn After Reading was a new low for Hollywood incompetence. The trailer depicts is as a comedy, its anything but that. This is Hollywood’s attempt at a real life scenario film based on nothing, if that makes sense. There is no plot, the characters are all odd and the comedy attempts are pathetic. Normal American’s can’t understand this shallow viewpoint that Hollywood has of us. They live in their own little world and I’m convinced that the majority of those in Hollywood believe this film to be a realistic scenario.   (more…)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Star Wars = More George Lucas = More of the same

I love Star Wars, its one of my all time favorite universes to have a story be told in. I love the Jedi Order and the Sith and all of it. So, why exactly didn’t I like Clone Wars?

Ever since Star Wars, Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi, George Lucas has been trying to literally recreate the success formula that he stumbled upon. I say stumbled because he’s never found it again. Why? He’s literally been trying to recreate it, character-by-character, line-by-line. Star Wars was the first movie trilogy, ever! Its still one of the best, ever!  Yet, Lucas continues to try to recreate what worked 30 years ago instead of reinventing himself. He needs to take a queue from the James Bond franchise. In Casino Royale, they finally decided to make the Bond films more modern and enjoyable to today’s audiences. As a result, I’m very excited for Quantum of Solace. When I first heard about Clone Wars, I got mad. I knew it was going to be a story that SHOULD have been apart of the prequel’s story line but wasn’t. (more…)

Swing Vote was an interesting and provoking surprise. I’m into politics as I believe it to be our civic duty to pay attention to who we elect into our public offices at the local, state and federal levels. Men and women have died to give us each that right and no one should waste that opportunity. Swing Vote is a reminder of that right that so many of us take for granted.

Bud Johnson, Kevin Costner, is a nobody drunk with a young daughter who is way to smart for her own good. Bud ignores his daughter and wastes his life away until voting day. Then everything crazy happens. In an event so rare that it would be highly improbable to ever happen, the election is held up by New Mexico due to one county and one vote that was messed up. That vote was Bug Johnson’s. So the two candidates travel to Texico, New Mexico to earn the swing vote of one American who doesn’t even care. (more…)

As a long time fan of Batman, I must say that this film was outstanding. I saw a very, very late showing but stayed wide awake due to this complex and dark adventure.

Batman has always been my favorite super hero for a long time because of the fact that he does not rely on super powers. He uses his passion and desire to make a difference in a dying city. Dark Knight is a display of that.

I can’t ruin much but I want to talk about the story a little first. The plot was similar to what I expected and then so much different. In the end the story wrapped up in a way that I wasn’t expecting but yet I liked it. All in all I think it will set up for a very fun and very different third installment of the series.

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As a huge Hellboy fan, let me tell you how much I enjoyed this film. I loved it!
I’m one of those freaks that liked the first movie a lot too but I also am a fan of the comic book. Hellboy II keeps things real in the Hellboy universe but takes it to the next level. The second installment is much more fantastic than the first where the first dealt with more ancient evils the second deals with more fantasy characters and the story of the Golden Army.

Guillermo del Toro did a great job on taking Hellboy’s story and kicking it up a notch. Of course you get to see Hellboy, Abe Sapien and Liz Sherman do their thing but you also get to know a more personal side of all three characters. There are also a few twists in the plot that I did not expect to see take place but I think you, like I was, will be pleasantly surprised.
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Another Independence Day here in America and another Will Smith Summer Blockbuster to go see. Will it live up to the hype and the long-standing reputation of Will Smith July 4^th movies?

John Hancock is an unconventional and almost unwilling super hero for the city of Los Angeles. Hancock lives like a bum in L.A. where the whole city hates him. Why? He saves the day when it needs saving but he does it without much thought process or care for the rest of the citizenry. That is until he saves the life of a P.R. guy named Ray Embrey. Ray attempts to repay the favor of saving his life by trying to save Hancock’s reputation with the people of L.A. (more…)

Well Pixar does it again. Stand back Disney, we all know you can’t do CGI brilliance  without them.

I was intrigued by this movie when I first hear about it, like two years ago (Gotta love those early plugs for movies that won’t come out for another couple of years) because of the premise of this movie. A clean up robot left on Earth to help clean up while the Humans take a joy ride and wait for him to finish. Well, actually a fleet of Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth (Class) robots.

My intrigue was correct. The first bit of the film was fun to watch as Wall E cruises around, making trash skyscrapers made of small cubes. Hey, after 700 years, he’d have a few. This robot collects some fun trinkets though.

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This is a mature film about a guy who lives in misery of a 9 to 5 office job (like most of us poor souls) but then finds his way into a new world of villainy and assassination. The movie is based off of a mature comic book series but only very loosely. The story is changed pretty drastically. I don’t think most audiences would like a straight adaptation of the comic books. Wanted wins for changing stuff around in my book. Why? Keep reading to find out.

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