 | It's HAZARD TIME! Start your first game. |
 | Take 5. Pause the game for the first time. |
 | Straight-A Student Complete all of the in-game tutorials. |
 | Hands-On Approach Defeat an enemy using melee combat. |
 | Eat FIST! Perform 10 single-hit melee kills. |
 | Feeling Punchy Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat. |
 | Headache Score 20 headshots. |
 | Migraine Score 50 headshots. |
 | Head of the Class Score 100 headshots. |
 | Better than One Score two headshots with one bullet. |
 | Plink Kill 50 enemies with the Hazard pistol. |
 | Pull! Kill 50 enemies with the shotgun. |
 | Auto Dealer Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun. |
 | Russian Attack Kill 50 enemies with the AK-47. |
 | Peekaboo...I Shot You! Kill 50 enemies with the sniper rifle. |
 | Blind Luck Kill 25 enemies using blind fire. |
 | Second Amendment Kill at least one enemy with every available gun. |
 | Say "No" to Pots Shoot 30 potted plants. |
 | Fire Hazard Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers. |
 | Uncovered Destroy 20 destructible cover objects. |
 | Boom. Blow up 50 explosive objects. |
 | No Pain, No Gain Kill an enemy with an explosive that also damages you. |
 | Maxx Karnage Collect 20 Hazard pickups. |
 | Shield Master Collect 20 Master Shield pickups. |
 | Just a Flesh Wound Complete a level without dying. |
 | Hazard Avoider Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting. |
 | Pseudo-Hazard Complete the game on the Major Hazard difficulty setting. |
 | Hazard Master Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting. |
 | ...Where Credit is Due Watch the credits from beginning to end. |
 | Multiplayer Master! 'What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the achievement back NOW....' |
 | Disco is Dead Defeat Sonny Tang. 'Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!' |
 | Stung Defeat Sting Sniperscope. 'Your present ends now.' |
 | Head Cheese Kill all butcher shop enemies with headshots. 'You're not PAYING for ammo. Feel free to use more.' |
 | Meat Your Maker Blast all hanging beef. 'Udder destruction? Steaking a claim? Beating your...I can go on all day.' |
 | Draw Get 50 Dual-Wield Six-Shooter kills. 'Now all we need is the spaghetti...' |
 | Bedlam Basher Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. 'Good for you. Coward.' |
 | Dances with Guns Don't let any dance bots die in Level 2. 'Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?' |
 | Russian to the Finish Defeat General Neutronov. 'From Hazard, With Love.' |
 | Deja-Vu Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. 'Your present ends now. Again.' |
 | Death Hazard Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. 'Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?' |
 | Housing Crisis Escape from Dexter's mansion. 'I gotta get me a house like THAT!' |
 | Pure Energy Get 50 Energy Pistol kills. 'Blaster? I hardly know 'er!' |
 | Well, I Heard them Scream Get 50 Plasma Rifle kills. 'Plasma rifles. They're not just for Space Marines anymore.' |
 | Tramm Ride Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm. 'One-two shot right to the tentacles.' |
 | Your Turn Defeat Altos Tratus. 'Forecast for the next level: no more clouds.' |
 | Talk! 'What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the achievement.' |
 | Deja-Vu (All Over Again) Defeat Sting Sniperscore yet AGAIN in Level 7. 'I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!!' |
 | Observe the Grenade Kill three Testers with one grenade launcher shot. 'Test the grenades: check!' |
 | Beat the Snot out of Wellesley Defeat Wally Wellesley. 'Like I said...' |
 | Meet Quentin. Meet Quentin. 'DUDE!!!!!' |