Secrets of Romance
-The shortest route to a man's heart is through the Vena Cava.
-If the woman you love is always nearby, but never seems to notice you... stop
stalking her.
-The key to instant romantic success? Lower your standards.
-The fires of passion are readily extinguished by the asbestos blanket of
responsibility.
Secrets of the Occult
-Most experts agree that sticking pins in a dool's rear is more effective than
in the eye.
-Bats are useful for cold remedies and curses, but mostly, they're just darn
scary.
-Voodoo dolls can be recycled into clothing, stuffing, or chew toys for dogs.
-Modern zombies are employed as game developers because they can work around
the clock.
Secrets of Intimidation
-Water torture is generally ineffective, since water doesn't really have
anything to hide.
-'Good Cop, Bad Cop' isn't as effective as 'Good Cop, Undead Cop'. They never
see it coming!
-If the subject does not yield to the comfy chair, you should advance to the
soft pillows.
-Sometimes you can learn more through love than through cruelty. Just kidding!
Secrets of the Government
-The Roswell crash was actually a weather balloom... an ALIEN weather balloon!
-There is nothing better for your cranial hygiene than a good government brain
washing.
-The ultimate democracy would allow all people to vote on all issues and ruin
them equally.
-A typical Sim City is presided over by an elected mayor, a board of advisors,
and a giant robot.
Secrets of the Undead
-Unknown
-Zombies don't literally want 'brains'... they just want a decent education.
-Wild yeti are acutally glaciovores, and only pose to threat to agressive
snowmen.
-The living dead prefer to use the more inclusive term 'respiratorally
challenged'.
Secrets about Monsters
-The original 'Bogeyman' had a condition that made him secrete snot from his
sweat glands.
-Vampirism isn't nearly as virulent as people think. Most people shake it off
like a bad cold.
-The legend of the Minotaur is false... he actually had the head of a giant
gerbil.
-Dragons once roamed all over the world, but were hunted to extinction by
sheep ranchers.
Hazel Dente's Mass Murder
-"In the Garden..." There is a pacemaker buried in Hazel's garden!
-"In the Bathroom..." There is a scratched-up wedding ring lodged in Hazel's
drain!
-"In the Kitchen..." There is a note in Hazel's fridge: 'Help, my wife is
starving me to DEATH!'.
-"In the Pool..." There is a shredded swimsuit in Hazel's pool filter.
Secrets of Biology
-Biologists have synthesized a flower that adheres perfectly to principles of
Feng Shui.
-Apparently, money DOES grow on trees, but the trees all waste it on junk food
and hats.
-If a tree falls alone in the forest, it actually makes the sound of a duck
quacking.
-Scientist can finally communicate with dolphins... but it turns out dolphins
are jerks.
Secret of Engineering
-Scientist at Division 47 have developed a new energy-efficient fuel based
on hair.
-New military-grade 'stealth toothbrushes' allow oral hygiene without
walking the whole family.
-Aliens built every architectural wonder on earth, culminating in the
perfection of Burlington, Vermont.
-Moore and Murphy predict that every year, computers will double their
capacity to go wrong.
Secrets of the Aliens
-Aliens don't have huge black eyes. They just wear ultra-cool alien
sunglasses.
-Aliens don't abduct humans for study... they just need somewhere to keep
their unused probes.
-Curiously enough, most aliens are not flammable, though they are terribly
allergic to bees.
-Flying saucers are the alien equivalent of jetskis. Responsible aliens drive
minivans.
Ronald's Pamphlet says...
-Always stay with the herd. The stray cow falls into the thicket.
-Always keep your eyes on the cow infront of you. Attention yields obdience.
-Always look to the future. The path behind you is strewn with manure.
-Always be warry ... the enemy tips the cow who sleeps.
Virginya the Vamp
-"The Headstone" Virginya visits a headstone with HER name on it! From the
19th century!
-"The Photograph" You find a picture of 19th-century Virginya. She looks
exactly like modern Virginya.
-"The Black Market" You find out that Gimi Branko has been selling packets of
plasma to Virginya Feng.
-"The Infection" You are infected with vampirism. You can suck the happiness
from living humans.
The Bovinomicon
-The great cow Beelzebeef slumbers beneath the surface of the earth.
-When Beelzebeef rises again, she will awaken the Elder Herd.
-The Elder Herd will trample all those who stray from the teachings of the
Kine.
-Once the earth is cleansed, there will be a new era of peace and dlicious
grass.
* 10.4.a. Service Station *
***************************
- When you exit Oscar's garage, look behind the bushes.
- When you exit Oscar's garage, turn left and there's one in the corner.
- One is behind Mambo's cashier.
- One's in the toilet.
**************************
* 10.4.b. Paradise Place *
**************************
- In your own home, there is one in the frontyard near the gate.
- There is one behind the bushes in front of the door of Newlow's home.
- There is another on the right to the way out to Deadtree.
- You can found one behind the bathtub in the Dente's.
- Another is in the Dente's backyard. Try walking along the right wall of the
yard.
- One is between the bed and the wardrobe in the Beaker's.
- One is next to the bed in Gimi's chamber located in the Beaker's.
- One is in the storing chamber in the Rossum's.
- A secret is behind the plasma TV in the Rossum's.
- Another is located in Doctor Newlow's chamber, behind his desk.
- Yet another is behind Doctor Newlow's piano.
********************
* 10.4.c. Deadtree *
********************
- There's one next to the cashier of the Kine Diary.
- Another is in the graveyard of the meetinghouse, next to Dennis's grave.
- There's another next to the bed in the meetinghouse.
- One's in the old library.
- Between the Kine Diary and the Saloon there's a alley, walk inside and
look left, you should see a dead tree, it is behind the tree.
- To the left of the workbench, there's another tree. Walk towards the tree
and you can see one in the corner of the walls.
- Walk into the ladies in the Saloon and turn left. You'll see one.
- Walk near Hoot Howell, the old guy in the saloon, one is in front of a shelf
holding wines.
